Loneliness and Rainy Nights

he closed his eyes but could not fall asleep

everytime thinking that he should stop thinking

so that he could go to sleep and get at least

maybe 5 or 6 hours so he could go to work

the next day but thoughts, flashes like pictures

in the back of the head

and memories he could not put away for good,

like changing sides like unrest, like

not being able to forget that there's an end to

everything. he could hear the door when he

realised he was still awake,

mouth dry like something left behind in dust,

something that doesn't belong anymore.

he thought about that too, and how

one day you could have most things

and not care much about any of it

and even take love for granted, someone to talk to

durin' the worst of nights,

nothing but the feeling that you'd never grow old,

never lose and never fail

and that you'd always keep your mind straight

no matter what.

but even that changes too, he thought,

and he felt like missing something he couldn't recall what.

he felt tired of many lives lived, like life

being a long and so familiar road, like the way home

from the gas station a long time ago,

and yet he was too proud to even think

of letting it go. like something too dear

to ever have to say goodbye to.