4.

After 4 p.m I just couldn't get any sleep at all. I just waited. Waited. With eyes half-opened, half-closed, I waited for the alarm to ring. It would ring at 5 p.m, no doubt about that. I could already see it ringing, I could already see myself reaching for it to turn it off. I took a glance out the windown and I saw that today hadn't really come yet. It was dark all right. More like night than day, no doubt about that. When the clock reached 5 p.m and the alarm rang, I was already sitting on my bed, eyes open, ready to take a quick shower and go to work. It was a day like any other day, but a new one, and for some damned reason it had to be different because although the days repeat themselves everyday they are actually never the same as the day before. Got it? That's right, me neither. Well, that's what Schoppenhauer said and, after all, I got to give some credit for a guy that was so lonely and that wrote all those books about suffering. Well, anyway, I took a ride with my cousin 'till Neutral Bay but for that reason I actually got there 2 hours earlier than I was supposed to. Well, that was fine by me, I didn't have to spend a nickel with transport and I never really mind waiting. I mean, what else it's life about after all? All we do it's wait. We wait to be born and then we live waiting for the day we'll die. But someone else said that before me. Anyway, I figured I would just get a seat somewhere, buy a cup of coffee and read my book. Maybe I could even see the development of the day. After all the streets were still dark as only big city's streets can be. I could also look at some nice girls passing by me at the sidewalk. Nice young girls, mature ones, married ones, doesn't matter as long as they look good. Going to work, going for a walk, going to cheat on some stupid husband, I mean, they can all look good if you look the right way. But I think someone said that before me too. Well, while drinking my coffee I suddenly felt like taking a shit. I mean, I really needed to take one. So I found me some toilet inside some kind of store or whatever. It was nice and clean. And it smelled good. I choose a cabin, got in, sat down, opened my book and relaxed. Jesus Christ. I thought then: "guess that's not a bad day after all." I mean, it's just like that girl: you see her at the party when you just got there and you think, Jesus, this girl looks wasted. But you know, the party goes on and on and suddenly, or not so suddenly, after a couple, or more likely lots of drinks, you look at her and she doesn't look that bad anymore. Actually she seems to have some kind of charming way of moving you know, a nice way of talking while smoking some cheap cigarette. Well, I guess that's just what life is after all: something that we don't have the slightest idea about what it is. But someone might have said that too.